and then there were those that fought the foo

The Foo Fighters released a song entitled "All My Life" off the album "One by One" on 10.22.2002. The final chorus and bridge go something like this:

All my life I've been searching for something.
Something never comes, never leads to nothing.
Nothing satisfies, but I'm getting close.
Closer to the prize at the end of the rope.
All night long I dream of the day.
When it comes around then it's taken away.
Leaves me with the feeling that I feel the most.
The feeling comes to life when I see your ghost.
And I'm done, done and I'm on to the next one.
Done, done, on to the next one.
Done, I'm done and I'm on to the next.

I come back to this song from time to time, blaring it in my headphones, and escaping. I begin to feel like worship is a struggle. I start searching for something. And it's in this moment that something never comes, never satisfies, but it's all around me. So close but so far away. I'm reminded of the presence of God, but don't go, and the worst part is that I know why. I feel the struggle because I am looking for an experience. If it doesn't work than I'm done, and on to the next, but I should be smarter about this because I recognize the why. My heart is seeking for a holy experience rather than seeking He who is holy. When I get to this point that I can tell I'm searching for something that doesn't come, it's like I've seen the mark, aimed, hit the target, but the arrow missed because I was aiming at the wrong target.

I don't need to fix my aim, so much as move the target. Self, stop worshiping experience.