retirement.

ok. i am retiring the blogspot.

new url:

www.misterlib.com

enjoy.

--k.lib

it's been forever.

just to keep you posted.

http://www.libtechstudios.com/

it's on it's way.

Sabbath.

In response to finishing that book, this poured out today.

Sabbath

What have we held on to?
That which didn't last.
We saw it all with texture.
We couldn't let it slip.
And most of all we gripped.
Flushed cheeks, and white knuckles:
Courtesy of yesterdays gone awry.
All we did was let it slip.
And worst of all it gripped.
Of all the things
That were on our side,
We never had the time.
We held it on our countenance.
We felt it pass
In waning tides,
And this is all we have to show:
Time (that which didn't last).

The Rest of God.

I just finished reading this book, The Rest of God by Mark Buchanan. It reads well, and there are two things that I have taken from this that are huge to me. One being the obvious, we need Sabbath, and it kills us to neglect it, but the other, how to listen in silence.

The most compelling thing about Sabbath to me is that it does not seek us out the way sleep does. If we don't sleep for long enough, no matter how hard we strive to avoid it, eventually, sleep finds us. However, if we avoid Sabbath, Sabbath avoids us. It is a gift. If it is ever about legality, it is dead, but it is haunting to see how this value is nowhere in my life and the lives of those that I do life with, those that are close to me. And there is no chance of it finding us without us seeking it out. There are some conversations that need to happen, begining with me and my wife, our family, how we will obey this command, accept this gift. I heard Donald miller and Rob Bell talking about Sabbath on two seperate podcast interviews, and I think it is something that is going to define this upcoming season in the Church in America.

It's interesting how we preach 'Devotions' or 'Quiet Time,' and the legality of it shines through on most Christians I know so much more than it ever feels like a gift. There was no command regarding this because everyone didn't have an NIV, ASV, the Message and Message Remix lining their shelves when they were camped at Mount Sinai. I see how this resurgence of accepting Sabbath as a gift long forgotten may replace some of the 'Do your devotions, dang it' banter that has plagued me my whole life.

The listening thing. Mark goes through some of the things that God says in the Bible, so that we can look for things that He might say to us when we listen. He talks about how praying should begin with listening. And after God created everything, the first 3 phrases out of his mouth are "Where are you?" "Who told you that you are naked?" "Did you eat from the tree I commanded you not to eat from?"

All questions.

God knows all, but asks us anyway. The only conclusion I can draw is that it's for our sake, not his. It's reflection. It's God directing us what to think upon. He lists some more:

"Where is your brother?" "Where are the other nine?" "Why do you call me good?" "Why do you call me 'Lord' and not do the things I say?" "Who do you say I am?" "What is it you want me to do for you?"

His next suggestion is to choose one.

Then, ponder it until you hear God asking you the question personally. And then ponder it until you can give an answer.

I don't know about you, but this fills me with life, knowing that I can take what God has asked, and listen to it, and run it over, and wrap my mind around it, and sputter out an answer, and let Him refine me.

I hope this starts showing up in the way people worship. I say hope, because to me, right now, that's what I feel for the future of my self, my family, my life, the Church. Hope.

the hour i first believed

i don't remember it. i look back, and i can't see it. i can't feel it. i can't even pick the time or the place or the age. i remember the cross. i remember jesus being here. i just can't remember the hour i first believed. has it been too long? did it only have half of the impact that it should? did i forget it? do i supress it? how real was it? i don't know. but it's real right now.

i found myself outside camp chapel tonight, too distracted by the flashy lights to stay in the building. as the band played "God of Wonders" i was drawn out. creation calls. espescially when you're in the redwoods. my neck hurts still as i write this from arching back to see the ends of the trees. i know they are the tops, but i can't see them, and they remind me of how He is endless. it hurts still, my neck. but i couldn't find the ends. and situated in the center stood redemption. the soft twilight floated through the trees to iluminate those boards, cut and nailed together; a cross. the cross. the cross that brings me back to the hour i first believed, but i can't see it.

and the redwoods torture my neck. they stretch upward with all the might they've been given. i don't know if each tree decides where new branches will grow, but they're everywhere. every side of the tree gets as many branches as it can hold. and the farthest i can see is the grey sky. through the trees. through the branches. through the needles on each branch i see grey sky. the black and grey silhouettes surround this cross. and it's beautiful. so beautiful it hurts. it hurts so bad to be right there, reminded of the hour i first believed, wondering when it was that it slipped out from my brain.

this body made of dirt that i thought so perfect for holding gigs and gigs of memories fails me. it's not who i am, but it's all i have to work with. but still, i look but i can't see it. i remember jesus being here. here. right here. but not right here too. here is one of the most temporary words. it changes with movement, and it's not everlasting. it can't be. that's why jesus is here, but he's not here too. i know because i've been not here and he's been there too. and i've been here, staring at the black and grey surrounding the cross, and he's here too.

i wonder if this is still the first hour. i can't begin to explain with words the beauty that those branches placed against the northern California coast glowing twilight. it's so penetrating that it hurts and uplifts and it's got a sort of a kick, and i wonder why i've never seen it before. it's right there, just beyond the cross. it isn't as if the cross was gone, but it was here, and it wasn't here too. i need it. i've needed it always. i've found it and it has carried me too here. whatever here means.

i don't think i've looked past the cross. it has never been brought to my attention before tonight. i remember clinging to the cross. i remember it. i do. but i don't remember looking past it and seeing the beauty. the beauty that is so deep it hurts and uplifts and kicks. maybe i've been here. in this place. this place that lights up the cross with penetrating sincerity. maybe i've been here too long. maybe it's been exactly as long as i've needed to be here. i'm not sure right now, but i can see past it. and it's beautiful.

i understand this and i believe this is true. i have been forgiven because Jesus died on a cross. because i have recognized my imperfections and have confessed them, i have been forgiven. and because of that, i can move on. the cross is here for me. the cross is here and it is not here too. the cross has my back, and i can move forward with the confidence that jesus moves me. his cross has my back, and his cross is in front of me, and i look past it toward the beauty and see a God that loves me in ways that i can't experience in this body that's made of dirt, but that doesn't change His love. it's still revealed in black and grey silhouettes that stand just past the cross of my redemption.

i don't remember the hour i first believed, but i am here and Jesus' cross has my back and it stands before me at the same time so that i can see the beauty that fills me, not my body made of dirt, but me, with hope and love. if this is what it is too believe, then maybe this is it. the hour i first believed.

i hate escapism:i just want to be whole.

reese roper has given me words where i thought there weren't any, and i thank him for that. i'm not much of an artist, but this is what i've got.

day too.

it was hotter today than i was ready for, but we got to go to the beach tonight, so it more than made up for it. Marcos Witt talked this morning about leading worship, and the balance between the lion, the calf, the man, and the eagle from Revelation, and it was good.

breakout session one: i learned more than i could write down on differing tones for guitars, which was sweet. the guy worked on the original line6 pod, and now works at taylor guitars. he demoed the taylor T5, and i want need one. it's a true electric acoustic, so you can play it as an acoustic, or as an electric, but the coolest was when he did both at the same time, going through two different amps, one guitar. it was amazing. bob taylor, the founder of taylor guitars showed up, and this girl ran out to get her guitar to have him sign, and i was like, pssssh. i didn't win an ipod, but i'm pretty sure that i'm on at least a dozen new email lists from trying to win one at almost every exhibitor's booth.

the final breakout session that i went to was on songwriting, and these two guys that go to saddleback and produce/write music for the likes of Disney talked a lot about polar opposites in songs and building tension to increase interest, memorability, etc. it was solid, and out of everyone i've heard thus far, they seem to have the coolest job.

yesterday i heard some guys from the pd church planting talk about launching large, and some of the concepts will play out in the daybreak stuff, but the one thing that has been rather odd is the huge lack of postmodern material being presented and/or experienced in the main sessions. rhonda did check out an elemental synergy session that sounded pretty solid, it's just sort of lacking on the saddleback campus.


we didn't stick around for the gospel night, but we did run in the waves for a little bit. first though we stood around in the exhibitors tent where lincoln brewster was hanging out, wondering what we could talk to him about, but all we could come up with is, "so you're like famous now right?" but we never asked because we couldn't think of a follow-up question. i think he is sponsered by boss guitar gear now. weird. anyway, peace be with you, and also with you.